7 Summers Ago My Life Changed Forever
7 summers ago I was lost, broken, and a complete failure.
I couldn’t accomplish anything good enough for the people around me, and I internalized their opinions of me and the things I loved.
One Friday evening I sat at home. I’d had a falling out with my friend group a few weeks prior and was trying to find myself again.
On this Friday at home 7 summers ago, it was brought to my attention that I “never went out anymore”, and just a few Friday’s before that I was told that I “never stayed home anymore”. Because of this consistent whiplash and never succeeding to please, I realized I had hit rock bottom for the first time at the ripe old age of 19.
Shortly after this transpired, the opportunity to go on a walk across the country with Crossroads presented itself. The group would leave in a few weeks, and I had to decide right then. All I wanted to do was make the people around me happy and feel like I had done something right for once in my life.
So, 7 summers ago, I said “yes” to going on a 3-month pilgrimage across the United States with 14 strangers.
You read that right, but you can read it again if you need to.
I had done everything I could to “mean something” to someone, anyone. I tried longer than I care to admit. But the moment I stepped foot into the plane that would take me from small-town Texas to LA, I realized something else was out there for me.
I fought submission to our Lord and His plans for me for about 3 weeks. I was tired, angry, and couldn’t find my footing with my mental and emotional well-being. Being in a new place was terrifying and I felt completely out of control.
When finally, I quit.
Relinquishing the responsibility of finding my own way and forging my path took a burden off of me that I hadn’t realized existed. I felt lighter, I felt alive, and I honored the Lord by honoring myself for the very first time.
My awakening had begun, I stopped looking for a husband, I stopped searching for validation, and I stopped trying to please everyone around me. I just existed as a daughter of the Most High and felt fulfillment in accepting that I was made for Him.
7 Summers ago I discovered that existing for Him was all I needed to do, and yet it was only the beginning.
On our walk across the country, during the week we would camp and stay in an RV, but on the weekend families in larger towns would volunteer to host us in their homes. On June 11th, 2017, I met a young man in his home in El Paso, Texas, and a few years later I would call him my husband.
Again, you read that right, but read it again if you need to.
The moment I saw his curly black hair, bold eyes, and joyful smile, I heard the Lord tell me that this man was meant for me.
I had many mental blocks around this, seeing as how I had just submitted my control and the direction of my path to God. But regardless of the mental blocks, I found it easy to pursue him. He was made for me.
The details of this story I’ll save for another day, but I will go ahead and spoil the ending for you: I married him.
We’ve been through many ups and downs and I’ve learned so many essential lessons, but the biggest lesson I learned was 7 summers ago. Contrary to popular belief, sometimes giving up is the only choice to make.
What part of your life do you need to detach from and submit to the Lord? How could eliminating people pleasing in your life change the trajectory of your life?
Until next time,
Audye
Quit Settling for Less
If you are a woman who refuses to settle for less than their unique God-given design, book a free 30-minute consultation session with me.
Also, check out The Rising Tide Fellowship and join a multigenerational group of faith-filled and growth-minded women. Free for 60 days!
