Turn Your Wounds Into Scars.
Is pain really temporary?
We are often told that pain is temporary and that wounds heal with time. But what if they don’t?
What if our wounds are open for years? We bleed on those around us. The blood represents our actions and reactions, our wounds bleed most when they are poked at or reinjured.
Like a sunburn hidden by your shirt, the friend that pats it while wrapping you in a hug will get lashed out at.
She didn’t know it was there, but you yelled at her anyway. It wasn’t her fault that it caused you pain, but you will tell her it was anyway.
What if time doesn’t heal?
What if you have had a gaping wound for so long that you have incorporated it into who you are?
It begins to follow you into your dreams at night, into your relationships, and it poisons your personality. You often sit and wonder how you managed to fall into such a deep hole and still survive, but in reality, you dug it yourself over time. Your craftsmanship is unrecognizable, yet undeniably yours.
How do you fill this seemingly never-ending pit of despair that you have found yourself in? How do you build a home atop the mountain that you have dreamed of as a kid?
How do you heal your wounds and turn them into scars?
You have to get out of that pit. You have to climb. You have to start.
There may be someone along the way that will help you up, but right now you are so far deep in the hole that there isn’t anyone that can reach you.
You have to climb. No one can climb for you.
Just climb one foot, one inch even. Put your hands in the dirt and find your footing.
As your hoist yourself, you will feel your muscles burn, and guilt, anger, and shame will glow brightly in your eyes. You climb for what feels like minutes, months, years, until you look down to find yourself an unsafe distance from the bottom. Panic sets in. What if I fall? What if I slip?
What if you fail?
Your muscles are strong enough now to hold you.
How do you trust yourself to hold on?
You put your head back up to look toward the sky, and you push on to the top. You’re moving so fast – you’ve never moved this fast before.
Suddenly, you hit your head on something above, you lose your grip and slide down.
You slid back. You lost progress.
You failed.
You sit in defeat for a few minutes, hours, or years, until you find the courage to climb again. This time you look up and grab what you hit your head on. A ladder.
A ladder was laid over the side of the pit, and someone is finally close enough to help you.
You finally allowed someone in.
You’re overjoyed. You’re ready. You grab the rungs and surge yourself up to the top. Noticing that the pit is filling in behind you.
There’s nothing stopping you anymore.
The only way is up.
Finally, you emerge out of the pit. You feel the grass beneath your feet, the sun on your skin, and the wind on your face. There isn’t anyone holding the ladder anymore, and the only direction you can go is up.
That is what it felt like.
I found myself in a hole so deep I didn’t think I would ever get out. I was deep, but postpartum depression sent me down even further. No one could reach down to help me. I was stuck. Alone. And frankly, I was prepared to die at the bottom of that pit.
Watching my daughter grow gave me the motivation that I needed to begin climbing. The Woman School Masterclass was the ladder that helped me out, and it was also what gave me a vision for the future that I wanted.
Now, I’m on my way up the mountain. Finding materials and preparing to build my home atop the hill that I always dreamed of. Something that once seemed impossible is now presenting itself right in front of me.
I’m not too far away, and neither are you.
You don’t have to be stuck forever. Click this link for help getting unstuck.
There is a way out.
You will get out.
Until next time,
Audye
Quit Settling for Less
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