I’ve Surpassed My Capacity.
Yikes, I DON’T like typing out that I’ve surpassed my capacity!!
I have been trying to write this out for a few days, and until right now I’ve had no luck, so bear with me.
Very suddenly, the life I had designed and had been living turned into an unexpected season of high demand. I thought I had everything I needed in place to deal with this the next time a stressful season came around. I had strategies in place for, what I thought, was everything possible. Preparation, scripts to help me coach myself through the tough moments, and a support system to lean on when I needed help.
Long story short – the backup plan was not enough. I’ve exceeded my capacity for this season, and I’m now trying to recover from overextending myself.
I’ve been stressed, I’ve kept my routines but I haven’t felt like myself, my autoimmune symptoms are flaring up, and to keep a handle on that I’ve stepped back from my business over the last few weeks to give myself a break. Only fulfilling tasks I had already committed to.
This has been a long journey and I want to share with you what I’ve learned from this experience.
#1 – You can’t prepare for everything, and that is OK.
There is absolutely no way you can have every strategy in place to avoid falling off your horse. Sometimes you just have to fall and learn the tools to get up again. Maybe you’ll get pushed off of your horse, who knows, but what I do know is that you’re capable of getting up because The Lord has given you the strength to do so. Expanding your capacity is directly related to tapping into your resilience. How long do I want to do this? Why do I want to do this? How do I keep this up?
#2 – Being comfortable isn’t always what you need.
I have found myself comfort-seeking and trying to bring a sense of normalcy back into my life. This just exhausted me further, but we fall back into previous patterns when we are triggered by unexpected seasons like this. When I finally embraced the uncomfortable feelings and allowed myself to feel them, I felt a feeling of relief. This moment will pass. These feelings are ok. This isn’t ideal, but I am going to be ok!
#3 – Prudence is good, but faith in God is better.
Like I’ve already said, you can have the strategies in place, and you can have a “failsafe” or “plan b”, but allowing yourself to surrender your life, feelings, and freedom to Him is how we truly make it through to the other side. This is much easier said than done, but hindsight is 20/20, and I can see clearly how I would be less emotionally affected had I initially felt the feelings and taken a step back to rely on God instead of my backup plans. He always knows better than we do. He is always guiding us in the right direction.
There will always be new problems.
The reality we face is this: There will always be new problems.
We get to choose how we show up and face these problems. You have to set boundaries for yourself. What do you want to put up with? What do you want to let go of? Is this truly too much and not your responsibility? Continue to learn and grow from all of the times you fall, and sooner or later, you’ll notice yourself balance on the horse much easier than ever before/
We get to skill up and tackle it in a new way the next time. Your capacity will grow. The beauty about this is the fact that we get to fall FLAT on our face and He gives us the strength to get up again. How do you get up again after unexpectedly taking a tumble? Don’t lose sight of your dream.
Until next time,
Audye
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